Throwback Thursday

Hello dear readers!

In honor of throwback Thursday, which is apparently a thing, I'm posting a piece I had written in college.  Back in those days circa Fall 2011-Spring 2012 I joined the staff of the college newspaper.  I didn't and still don't see myself as a news reporter or journalist at all, but rather an English major who simply wanted to write something.  Eventually after several articles that had nothing to do with on or off campus current events I gained the title Evergreen Queen.  Typically my writings erred on the side of general and random topics as a means to have a witty-ish title.

With that, I present to you:

How to Take a Dump

Throughout the course of one’s love life, a little heartbreak is inevitable. Some may never have to weather the storm of post-relationship depression, anger and tempestuous revenge-hunger, but for those of you that will have to and have had to…here’s some advice about how to take a dump:

Take a dump with friends: Being dumped is a tough, and often isolating, experience. Return to your social roots, your friends before Sam, Amanda or Charlie. They are the ones that knew you with all your quirks, habits, and impromptu celebrity impersonations. They will tolerate your wet works and then backhand slap you back to reality and self-worth. Friends are unafraid to tell you how simultaneously insane, awesome and obnoxious you are.

Take a dump with distractions: Losing what you thought was your other half is a disorienting thing. You begin to wonder if the things you loved were really the things you loved because the, one you loved, loved them. Thus you find yourself without the person that wrote up your itinerary for fun. Pick up new hobbies that will stimulate your mind and draw attention away from the gaping chasm in your chest, where your heart once was. These distractions may be fleeting hobby fads or something that leads you to your new lease on life. The point is to find things you like to do. Stalking your ex  and making hate collages with old photos are not viable options.

Take a dump with confidence: So you’ve just been dumped and this could easily send you into a downward spiral of Häagen Daz ice cream and self-loathing. Don’t give in. Embrace yourself in your epicness. For x amount of time you’ve identified yourself with that other person to the point that he/she is another facet of you. Sure there’s a vacancy in your bed and/or social life, but there shouldn’t be an all-consuming loss of what makes you, you. Celebrate the fact that you are now a free spirit and that you are free to eat an entire pint of caramel cone Häagen Daz motivated by cravings and not by break up blues.



Here’s some advice about how not to take a dump:

Do not take a dump vocally: It’s fine and dandy to weep and rage to your inner circle of friends. However, tweeting, blogging, and ranting through a social media outlet will garner bad attention. You may win some sympathetic, empathetic comments and likes. But don’t dwell on the negative. If you must status-update, tweet or whatever, do so by focusing on the positive. Here’s an example status update, “Wow, I didn’t know how much room my tiny extra long twin bed had until last week. WIN!” or “So this is what it’s like not dipping into my roll-over points come Tuesday. Weird!”

Do not draw out a dumping with denial: You know when you’re being dumped. You may get dumped via email, text, tweet, Facebook message or even old fashioned face-to-face dumping. Do not pretend that you weren’t dumped and hold your breathe for the next four months waiting for the dumper to realize his/her wrong. This is a very painful way to take a dump. Take your dump as cleanly and maturely as possible. Don’t deny the dump because it’s real and the relationship is dead all the same, even if you pretend it isn’t. Accept what’s happening and move on.

Remember that taking a dump is a messy, painful, and, at times, stressful process.   However, in the end you will come out whole, happy, and free.


- See more at: Original Source

Pardon the Shoddy Editing

http://vimeo.com/22153739

Oldie, but goodie?  Perhaps that was presumptuous.  

H

I Reach for Poetry in Light and Shadows: Interview III

A Note From the Writer:

As a teenager, filled to burst with angst, I found great solace in writing.  Solace in angsty, melodramatic, great sweeps of equally macabre and florid vocabulary-pocked poetry.  I feel a little guilty about this, but also know that this is a faze that a lot of writers have.  

Luckily, I eventually saw the sun and introduced a little bit of color into my wardrobe.  Unfortunately because of life becoming happier, that well of human rage dried.  Suddenly, poetry became elusive or cheap through newly budding teenage romances and precarious optimism. 

That well of darker human emotion became much harder to tap.  But for all my smiles and pastel lingerie, I'm a cold pessimist.  I haven't written poetry in so long, but I know that through the weather of life there will always be a dark cloud somewhere down the horizon. 

See how easy it was to get pessimistic?  Imagery, metaphor, and all that good shit.

This piece was my attempt to capture the conflicting emotions of a romantic relationship kinda sorta on the rocks.  The vagueness of kinda sorta is that gray area in a relationship when you both feel something so vastly beyond the scope of human emotion. 

As grand as that may be, you're not quite sure if the gravity of this force (love, whatever that may be) is any longer doing you any good.

Enjoy.

Where This Piece Came From:
I originally wrote this when I was in college.  My first real relationship just ended.  However upon cutting out the only good part of the original to share with you folks, my Muse decided other things.  A new poem was shit out of her sweet ass.

Here is the newest and less bullshitty "Interview III".

Interview III

Can you describe for me the exchange?

Two lions on opposite sides of a watering hole.  Eyes watching the other’s every movement.  Shoulders tense and hind legs ready to fight or flee at a moment’s notice.  Fight, flee, or fuck. 

They take two steps away--

water hanging in drops to their muzzle. 

Flee, slowly.  Deny the potential.  At opposite crests looking down at the mirrored water the gaze is broken. 

They part.

We had watched this from afar.

From what perspective?

Too close to the situation to tell you a thing, but I learned one thing.

What was it that you learned from this?

We are just animals coping with the world.

Was that the last you ever saw each other?

No.  I see him every time I look in the mirror. 

We humans have a strange way of impressing each other.