Friday, October 18, 2013

Welcome to The Euphemistic Minister: Ramblings on Life, Meatsacks, and Self-Deprecation

A Nervous Writer with Shaky Promises

            I've been nervously awaiting this day for a while.  Upon seeing that I had 2001 followers on Twitter, my heart sank to my groin faster than a body in a river.  There has been a problem that I have promised myself that would be resolved--that is to set a posting schedule. This problem only exists because creative writing is very much like taking a shit. 

            At times, I wonder if I'll die if I don't get it all out.  In other instances, I'm flush with impatience as this thing, whatever it maybe, perches and stews deep inside my bowels rather than flowing freely.  Creativity is a tempestuous wretch, quite irregular. 
           
            Thus I find myself without a clue as to setting a posting schedule.

            However, it would be supremely shitty of me not to insure some regularity to posting.  Luckily, the beautiful thing of it is that I already have a few pieces that are worth nitpicking.  Know that I will give you guys a glimpse of the editing process and the neuroses à la déjà vu. 

            Know that even if I don't have something hot off the high lady's presses, you'll have something to consume and mull over.

            I want to shoot for the stars and promise three blogs a week, but I'm ever the realist.  Below is very real realigned text made to seem as if it is official by the format.  It is not, but it's the best I can do.  As close to a promise as I can cyberly commit to my readers.  

I,      Hermia Li (aka Mia Li/Your Mother's Lover)    , promise to post on THE EUPHEMISTIC MINISTER BLOG on every HUMPDAY.  However if the post is to potently piss poor, fuck it and find something at least INCITEFUL to share.

Now, folks, all two of you who read this dribble.  Please regard the following as my fucking word, and promises I plan on keeping.  Because things such as your word should still matter.

·       I will do my best to be not too wretchedly high to write
·       I will document this strange and fascinating world, and our perplexing species
·       I will reflect on my own personal impressions from the strange and fascinating world to weave stories others can lose themselves in
·       I will fuck your mother all night long
·       I will not take myself too seriously
·       I will take my posting rather seriously

           In a nutshell, I'm going to be writing about the shit I see in myself and the modern animal, which is humanity.  I write most confidently about what I know.  And I've lived enough, fucked enough, and breathed enough to say humans are interesting animals.  Let's flesh out those peculiarities and see what narrative is shat out. 

Enjoy THE EUPHEMISTIC MINISTER.


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